Malaysian Amateur Girl Jasmine

more funny jokes   


Hi! so you're enjoying these jokes huh? here are seven more of my favourite jokes which i posted last year. you might have read some of these already. keep smiling!
joke 1
Deng went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.

Bill: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me.
      He took him to a forest.
Bill: Dig the ground.    Deng did it.
Bill: more..more..more...         Deng went upto 100 feet.
Bill: So now, try to search for something
Deng: I got a wire.
Bill: You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to
      have telephones.

Deng became frustrated. He invited Bill to China. The
following year, Bill was in China.

Deng: I want to show you our advancement. In a similar 
      manner, he takes Bill to a forest.
Deng: Dig it.  Bill does.
Deng: more..more..more...Bill goes upto almost 400 feet.
Deng: Try to find something.  Bill tries.
Deng: Did you get anything?
Bill: No, there is nothing here.
Deng: You know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used
      to have WIRELESS.

joke 2
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman
sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his
courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively,
  "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for  a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs,
  "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the
guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks
back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and
apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I
embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in
psychology and I'm studying how people respond to
embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top
of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

joke 3
This guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over.
Everywhere  I  touch it hurts."

The doctor says, "OK.Touch your elbow."
The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The
doctor, surprised, says "Touch your head."
The guy touches his head and jumps in agony.The doctor asks
him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere
the guy touches he hurts like hell.The doctor is stumped and
orders a complete examination with Xrays, etc. and tells the
guy to come back in two days.
Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor says "We've
found your problem."
"Oh yeah? What is it?"
"You've broken your finger!"

joke 4
There was a Latino man looking for job. The boss asked, " Do
you speak English?"
"Yes, Senor," he replied.
The boss continued, "I will test your comprehension, make a
sentence with these three words: Green, pink and yellow."
The Latino man laughed, "That's easy, Senor. Here it is: The
phone GREENS, I PINK it up and say YELLOW"

joke 5
A university creative writing class was asked to write a
concise essay containing these four elements:
religion, royalty, sex, mystery
The prize winning essay read:
"My God!" said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

joke 6
A yuppy opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came
along and  hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the
police arrived at the scene, the yuppy was complaining
bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!" he whined.
"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!"
retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW,
that you didn't even notice your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my gaaad...", replied the yuppy, finally noticing the bloody
left shoulder where his arm once was, "where's my Rolex???!!!!!"

joke 7
A pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the first
available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed 
and she is shot three times in the stomach. She gets rushed to
the hospital where she gets fixed up. As she leaves she asks the
doctor about her baby. The doctor says, "You're going to have
triplets. They're fine but each one has a bullet lodged in its
stomach. Don't worry though the bullets will pass through their
system through normal metabolism."

As time goes on the woman has three children. Two girls and a
boy. Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her mother
and says, "Mommy, I've done a very weird thing". Her mother asks
her what happened and her daughter replies, "I passed a bullet
into the toilet". The woman comforts her and explains all about
the incident at the bank.

A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with
tears streaming from her eyes. "Mommy, I've done a very bad
thing". The mother says, "Let me guess. You passed a bullet into
the toilet, right?". The daughter looks up from her teary eyes
and says, "Yes. How did you know?". The mother comforts her
child and explains about the incident at the bank.

A month later her son comes up and says, "Mommy, I've done a
very Bad thing". The mother says, "You passed a bullet into 
the toilet, right?". The son replies, "No, I was masturbating 
and I shot our dog."


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